Stalker!
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: There's a game where each person get a mark to stalk. Who do everyone get and what sh*t goes down? Who do Claire, Michael, Eve, Shane and Sam get to stalk?


_Anyone who I have spoken to in the past week knows that I have been attempting to stalk someone for a while. This was also inspired from 'fifty years' by Madelyn Grey, which she wrote cause I asked for it hehehehehehe_

_Anyway, I don't own anything_

_And this is pure crack… though probably not as much as Elf Army…_

_Musical inspiration:_

_Everyone at T4 on the beach … even though it wasn't as good as I thought it would be..._

* * *

"What do we call you?" Claire asks the ring leader of the little group, who is covered over. Of course, only the humans present don't know that it is Oliver who is leading this little game because the two vampires can _totally_ smell who it is… and Oliver tried to use that voice last week at the meeting with Amelie when he phoned up, pretending to be her credit card company to say that she was in debt… so he isn't exactly Mr Unknown To All…

"You can call me The Master," Oliver replies, causing both Sam and Michael to crack up laughing. "Glass – both of you – shut up otherwise you are both kicked out," he continues, resulting in neither of them shutting up and just continue to laugh harder.

"The Master is quite possibly the _worst_ name I have ever heard," Sam chokes out, his hands on his knees as he doubles over from laughing so hard.

"Well, why don't _you_ come up with something better?" Oliver shoots back, his words slightly distorted due to the extremely thick black mask currently covering his face.

"How about… I'm An Absolute Loser To Want To Be Called The Master?" Michael responds, laughing as he falls to the floor, unable to stand up any longer. "I think you're going to have to tell them who you are, Oliver, otherwise I will," he accidentally reveals Oliver's identity in this anyway, something which causes the others to gasp, the others being Claire, Shane and Eve.

"_Oliver_?" Claire confirms, walking slightly closer to the figure in front of her as if she wants to see whether or not it definitely is him. this seems to be the slightly stupid option because he removes his mask just as she is less than a metre from him and bares his fangs, causing her to jump back and scream. "Why did you want to be called The Master? Why do you _want_ to do this?" she asks him, her hand over her heart to try and calm it down.

"Because Amelie won't let me have the things I want in this town, so I thought a nice little game of stalking would liven things up," he answers, causing Claire and Eve to exchange glances.

"Wait… I thought this was hide and seek?" Eve asks, her voice showing her confusion.

"It is… in a way," Oliver responds, a smile on his lips. "For, you see, you have to _find_ your mark first and then you have to hide from them, as a good stalker does… after all, I showed you the video of that girl stalking her teacher, didn't I?" he explains and they all nod, grinning.

"That's great… I mean, I was all _for_ hide and seek but it's a little childish," Eve smiles, rubbing her hands together. "But this…"

"This is _awesome_!" Shane grins, thinking that he has a chance to follow a vampire (maybe) and not be allowed to be killed as he is in a competition.

"Come and take a piece of paper to find out your mark," Oliver says, producing ten pieces of paper for them to choose between. "There is one blank piece in here… the person who draws that has to go to the police station and turn themselves in for trying to kill me… do you accept those terms?" he continues, adding a new element of danger to the competition.

"I do," Claire says instantly, happy that she has been included in this game, so not caring that she could get sent down for attempted murder. Anyway, Amelie would rescue her… probably.

"And me," Eve says, the others nodding in agreement. Michael forces himself up off the floor, having realised that the fact that it is Oliver isn't _really_ that funny – at least, anymore.

Oliver fans the paper out and hands them out to Claire, who picks a piece. "Richard Morrell, wicked," she grins, evidently happy that she doesn't have to go to jail even more… but she has to go there anyway, to stalk Richard…

"I got Hans…" Eve pouts as she tries to remember who that is until she realises that it is that nasty vampire who works for the police. "CB, I'll give you a lift down to the police station if you're stalking Richard," she continues and Claire nods, grinning.

"I got…Ysandre?" Michael says, confused. "Oliver, you spoon, you screwed up; Ysandre is dead!" he laughs uncontrollably again, unable to help himself.

Oliver blushes and nods, yanking the piece of paper out of Michael's hands and motions for him to take another. So, with shaking hands, Michael takes another piece of paper. "Myrnin… this ought to be fun, the man is paranoid enough as it is!" he moans, causing the others to laugh this time.

"Why is Myrnin not playing?" Claire's brow furrows and Shane sighs as he notices how it is _Claire_ who realises that Myrnin isn't there.

"Because he is stupid, a liability, and he would sprag to someone," Oliver sighs. "Now, unless you want to be kicked out of the game, shut up girl or I will shut you up."

Claire nods and steps back from the crazy man again, just as Sam takes a piece of paper. "Ironic… Amelie," he smiles slightly, simply just having to continue his life of the last half a century in following her around.

Shane is the last to pick and, unsurprisingly, it's him who has the blank piece of paper. "Guess I'm off to the police station – give me a lift?" he smiles slightly, addressing the last part to Eve who laughs and nods.

"You have three hours to get as close to your target as possible without them actually seeing you, or talking to you," Oliver says gravely, happy for the fact that he has three hours in which he won't have Sam bragging about how Amelie loves _him_, any bratty humans screwing up Common Grounds and the fact that he doesn't have to worry about Myrnin annoying him because Michael is following him. "You can go… now!" he announces loudly, watching with glee as they all run off in different directions: Sam runs to the portal because he thinks he is the only one who can be allowed to use it; the three humans head towards the door to use Eve's car; Michael, however, runs behind the counter and makes himself a coffee.

"What?" he says to an amazed looking Oliver, shrugging. "I'm following _Myrnin_; it's well known that he doesn't have the best coffee making facilities in that shack," he explains, causing Oliver to smile slightly.

"Yes, I agree there… now go run off or I dock you points for annoying me," he replies, just as Michael puts the lid on the coffee cup. The blonde beauty then heads out of the door to his car… just to remember that he didn't bring a car; he came with Eve and the others. So he's trapped out in the sun… oopsie!

…

Meanwhile, Claire, Eve and Shane are in the car on the way to the police station, silence reigning. "I'm sure you won't be killed," Claire breaks the silence as they almost arrive, doing nothing to raise Shane's spirits at the fact that he's being arrested for attempted murder… that didn't even happen.

"Yeah, I'm sure that my track record will _totally_ have them thinking that I'm innocent and just doing this for a laugh, even though I am," Shane shoots back sarcastically, watching as they approach the station. Eve pulls up in the sunlight by the main door, just spotting Hans talking to Gretchen, his face contorted in anger. He then proceeds to climb into his car and turns the ignition.

"You two out unless you wanna forfeit your stalking," she says with a steely determination in her tone: she is going to _win_! So Claire and Shane slide out of the car, a camera in Claire's hands to record how close she gets to Richard: she has the easiest job because she just has to follow a human who can't smell her.

"See you later," Shane says with a grin to Claire who nods, heading off in the direction of Richard's office. Shane, meanwhile heads into the main station and heads up to the main desk. "Hello, I'm Shane Collins and I want to turn myself in for the attempted murder of Oliver: you know, the scary dude vampire who keeps trying to kill me and my friends?" he says, sighing as he puts his hands out to be cuffed…

… Claire heads across the green grass (nice to see where Morganville priorities its water) towards the offices where Richard works as mayor now. She can see his room is empty so she climbs in through the handily open window, looking for somewhere to hide so that she can stalk him from inside the office. Outside is just too exposed.

Inside, she quickly realises that there are no cupboards big enough to hold her – well, the one that there is seems to be absolutely stuffed full of paperwork and something Claire is suspiciously thinking are porn magazines… but she doesn't stay and linger. You see, there is a noise outside and she can tell that Richard is about to come in. so she has to hide under his desk, quietly setting up a camera to get a picture of him when he enters the room.

"Richard, I love you," Hannah says and Claire silently curses herself because she has a feeling she knows what will be coming down now.

_One and a half hours later_…

She sighs as she realises that they are finally finished. It's pretty worrying that she has had to sit through this, knowing that she will never be able to look either of them in the eye again.

"I have to work now," Richard says, opening the door for Hannah to walk out. Well, Claire thinks, at least she got the requited picture. "Claire? what the hell are you doing here?" he almost swears as he swings his legs into the desk, just to connect with Claire.

"Um… I…" she can't reply but as she stammers, Richard spots the camera in her hands.

"You were spying on me… me and Hannah?" he gets the wrong end of the stick as he hauls her out of the desk and yanks her towards the door. "GUARD! Take this one down to the station!" he yells out of the door, ignoring Claire's protests of innocence… well, as far as she could be innocent.

So that's Claire out of the way.

…

Eve, meanwhile, follows Hans straight off, driving 100mph to keep straight up with him. He swerves down a series of roads and she curses as a piece of her Belladonna falls off as she has to bump up the curb to make it round the corner.

He pulls over just opposite to Common Grounds, which confuses Eve for a minute, until he gets out of the car and walks down the dark alleyway next to it. She realises he probably is off for his little fix of cocaine (it's a well known fact that he is an addict) so she follows, keen to get her picture of him here so she can go home and relax for the next hour or two.

Just as she heads down, a vampire runs back and grabs her by the throat: Hans. "What do you want?" he hisses, but his grip on her throat means that she can't respond. "Following me, I see… now, a punishment," he hisses, planning on getting rid of her.

So he snaps her neck and walks away without another word, regretting the fact that he couldn't get his cocaine.

So that's Eve out of the way.

…

Michael, with his cup of coffee, decides that he can't be bothered to stalk Myrnin, so he's just going to go and say hi to him, and then take a picture when his back is turned. That's the reason why Michael flags Eddie down, the only taxi driver in town, and gets him to take him to the Day House – best not to let the taxi driver know where the crazy vampire lives.

He runs down the passageway, regretting the way that he burns so easily: it has made his coffee smell of burnt skin, which isn't very nice. But he runs down the little staircase so that he emerges in the lab, just for it to be empty.

"Where's Myrnin?" Michael wonders aloud, realising that there isn't a trace of Myrnin around. How peculiar… he never normally leaves his lab, so why has he left the one time Michael needs him to be here?

But, with a strange sense of wicked glee, Michael realises that the lack of Myrnin means he can mess things up and break things without the bipolar vampire knowing! It's pure heaven… so Michael walks round the lab, sipping his coffee that no longer seems to smell that bad, and pokes things. He presses buttons that make the machines go POOF and scream so badly that he can tell they're broken; he throws books across the room; he even continues Myrnin's game of gunkballing that he started the other week…

Everything is messy now and now Michael is bored… and quite tired. So he decides to go and lie down on Myrnin's bed as he waits for the man to return from whatever he is doing now. He puts his head on the pillow and curls up on the bed, his head towards the wall because this is _really_ comfy and he's getting tired.

"What is this?" Myrnin's voice suddenly surprises him and Michael turns around to see someone with a silver gun pointed at him: Myrnin.

"Um… I was tired?" Michael says quietly but the gun isn't lowered.

"You're in my house without my permission!" Myrnin screams, utterly Myrnin like in his reaction. "Therefore, you die!" he screeches this part and the gun is suddenly fired into Michael's chest.

That's Michael out of the way then.

…

The final contestant is Sam, who has a head start because, well, he's been practising this for a couple of decades now… you know; it's no biggie stalking someone when it's all you do.

He disappears through the portal to return to his house and makes himself a cup of coffee whilst the computer system loads up. Then he walks across his apartment (not very big but he only needs it to store his stalking stuff) and looks at the computer screen, realising that Amelie's favourite limo is still in its garage so she is probably either in or has used the portal to get around.

He switches the camera to look into Amelie's bedroom – only a true stalker has a camera in the stalkee's bedroom – just to realise she isn't in there either. He set the cameras up about thirty years ago now, updating them every time that a newer, better quality model became available in Morganville… he couldn't order them in because Amelie would wonder why he was ordering video cameras so frequently… but, he laments with a sigh, perhaps he ought to have done that so he could see her.

But now they are his perfect tool to win the competition to show that _he_ is the best stalker. Maybe that isn't the best title to have but… you know, it'll show he loves Amelie.

Fifteen minutes later, after searching through forty seven different cameras and locations, he pins her down in her office in Founder's Square. So he grabs his bag (complete with his high quality camera – no slacking off for Sam and his devices to help him fill his wall of Amelie photos… which is currently empty: he isn't very good with taking photos) and gets in his car to head to her office.

It's easier than normal to get into her office building, with her assistant being busy yelling down the phone at the suppliers of Amelie's clothing because they haven't delivered their order. So he sneaks up the stairs, spraying himself with the aftershave he nabbed from Michael to disguise his identity, and knocks at the door, waiting to hear her voice calling him in.

"Come in," she says finally and his heart jumps (even though it is still) at the fact she has spoken to him for the first time in fifty years. So he opens the door, his camera at the ready and he waits for her to recognise him. but her expression stays almost carefully blank, her eyebrow raising slightly. "Well? Who are you?" she questions, knowing who he is but denying that she does for some reason.

He huffs in shock, yet his finger still manages to snap the picture of the woman who isn't entirely emotionless – she has a cheeky glint in her left eye that he recognises from many a year ago now. "You know who I am," he shoots back but she shakes her head.

"No, I don't, so please leave," she orders him to leave but he cannot move because of the shock that she is pretending to not know who he is. "Guards, please escort this man out!" she raises her voice ever so slightly and then two burly dudes come to pick up Sam and throw him outside in the shade…

"NOOO!" he cries to himself, clutching his camera closer to his chest. Well, at least he's won the competition… maybe…

…

"Three hours are up… _now_!" Oliver says to himself, realising that nobody has returned. He heard news of a murder next door to his property and that there was another death of a vampire somewhere, but that's it…

"I'm here!" Sam announces, seeming happy yet sad at the same time. Probably because he had to stalk his former paramour... "I got my picture – it just took a little while to print out," he explains why he is slightly late to the meeting – but he is the only one turning up.

"This should be good," Oliver mutters to himself as he holds his hand out for the photo of Amelie that is supposed to have been taken without her knowledge. "Sam, she is _looking_ at you; that is _not_ stalker material!" he chastises him, but Sam shakes his head.

"A) she apparently didn't recognise me," he says, his voice breaking a little. "B) I thought you could perhaps say that, so I printed out a variety from the past thirty years," he continues, fanning out a variety of pictures including…

"Is that Amelie _naked_?" Oliver asks, his eyes agog at this, especially when Sam nods. He makes to grab it, but Sam holds it out of his reach, putting it back in his bag. "Fine, since none of the others have turned up, you are crowned the winner," he groans that Sam has won, handing over the prize of… a camcorder that Sam doesn't really need since, you know, he has all that equipment already.

…

Meanwhile, Amelie sits in her office, surveying the material before her. She _had_ to pretend that she didn't recognise Sam because she needed to get deeper into this little ring of stalkers to find out who 'The Master' is. He's been causing havoc by sending her fifty messages a day, ranging from proclamations of love to requests for strip clubs.

"Can we go in now?" she asks her researcher… Shane Collins, the one who nobody would have expected to have been working with a vampire.

"Yes, it's only The Master and Sam in there now," he tells her, smiling as he sits down.

"I hope you know that if he is not there then you get thrown back in jail," Amelie warns him and he nods.

"Yah, yah, but I like this film that's on so I'll stay here for now," he waves her off; ignoring her looks of amazement that he would act like that to _her_. She sighs and walks through the portal with her guards, to find Oliver and Sam sitting there, ogling pictures of… _her_…

"What is this?" she asks coolly, both of them turning around in shock. "Oliver, _you_ are The Master?" she confirms, a small smile appearing on her lips at the absurdity of this.

"Yes," he responds. "I had to do _something_ because you refused to build all the things I want," he pouts and she shakes her head, motioning for the guards to take away _both_ of them.

"Amelie, why're you arresting _me_ as well?" Sam asks indignantly, amazed that he is in her presence again.

"You broke into my office without appointment and took a photo; you partook in a stalking mission that has resulted in two deaths and already an arrest; you are now proving that it is _you_ that has set up various cameras in my home, the proof being in your hands… need I go on?" she shoots back, her eyes glittering daggers.

He shakes his head and swallows audibly, realising that this has gone too far if two people are dead. "Who is in jail?" he asks, having forgotten Shane.

"Claire is, Eve and Michael are dead whilst it was Shane who blew the whistle on this entire operation," Amelie reveals, just as the guards yank the two for jail through the portal.

"WHAT?" Sam screeches, in regards to Shane being a turncoat. "Amelie, I love you, please forgive me," he begs but she shakes her head and waits to watch him be arrested formally.

…

Claire stomps around her cell, unable to believe she has been arrested without even a word in her defence being able to be given. She supposes that this is what it must be like for so many of Morganville's residents of the jail…

The cell door is thrown open and she thinks it is her salvation… until a silver bound Oliver and Sam come through, tied together… and both looking very hungry.

"Uhoh," she whispers before turning back to the suddenly shut door. "LET ME OUT! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME IN HERE!" she screeches as her neck is attacked.

And _that_ is the fate of a stalker in Morganville!

* * *

_Thoughts?_

_The storyline was basically just the game of stalking haha XD_

_Review, si tu plait…as mentioned before, now we're onto Morganville Vampires story 146, I believe I have the right to call you 'tu' :D_

_Vicky xx_


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